Live your life for you
Live your life your way, and you will live without regrets. Too many people make choices for their lives based on what someone else thinks is the right thing to do. It’s easy, it’s the path of least resistance but if it’s not what you want it’s a recipe for regret, disappointment, and failure. Live your life for the acceptance of others, and you will live with resentment and the unsettling feeling of what could have been.
If you have a dream, don’t live your life wondering what could have been. Succeed or fail, at least you’ll know you tried.
Live your life by working on your mindset
Odds are nobody is going to read this post. You see, I only started this blog three months ago. No one reads it, but I love it. The fact that no one reads this blog is not a huge exaggeration. Still, writing into the wind is not enough to make me give up. I did this for me.
Living your life for you is not about having a popular blog or an instantly successful business. This confession on the state of my blog is not a rant. It’s an example of a healthy mindset. Above all, I believe that mindset can get you through anything.
Live your life by helping others
I’m looking at the big picture here. My goal is that you will find this site one day and feel inspired to live your life your way. I hope that you decide to take a different perspective on your place in the world and move forward.
I’m a big believer in visualizing my preferred future. It may sound corny, but it is powerful. In that future, years from now, you will have proof that everyone has been where you are right now. I am only one of them.
Live your life by knowing you’ll always be a work in progress
I want you to see that everyone starts somewhere. Ultimately the act of starting, not the first day but every day, is going to get you where you need to be.
Notice I didn’t say where you want to be. You see, I’m not an inspirational guru, and I’m not here to tell you that you can do anything you set your mind on doing. I don’t know you but, what I do know is business, industry and now after a few years of intensive study, I know about mindset.
Live your life by learning about yourself
I’m not trying to impress you with the things I know. You don’t have to impress anyone with the things you know either. We’re all so worried about the letters behind our name, but experience trumps all of that any day. I consider myself a life-long learner, but this is not about what I’ve studied or what you’ve studied. In fact, none of that matters without knowing yourself.
I see what you don’t see because I’m not in your shoes. I know this sounds strange, but when you’re too close to something, you just can’t see it. An outsider can see the situation with objectivity. So, you’re down in it, dealing with the emotional mess of life? Yeah, it’s not easy. You have to learn to see through pain and fear. Those moments when you’re lost in emotion and navigating through a thick fog.
Do you realize how dangerous it is to drive through the fog on a steep cliff, next to a mountain? If you know the road, you have a slight advantage over the guy who crashes into the side of the mountain. I hope this makes sense and isn’t too dramatic, sometimes I indulge myself in metaphor.
The point is, fear keeps you from seeing past the current moment, learn to spot when fear has taken over. A warning for you, it’s not easy so don’t be too hard on yourself.
What I know
- I’ve already been where you are, several times in fact. Consequently, I’ve succeeded, and I’ve failed, like you will and like those who come after you will also succeed and fail.
- Your mind has the power to make or break you. No one or nothing else has this kind of authority over unless you give it away.
- You have to learn to deal with negative self-talk and fear, learn this or the self-talk will hold you back.
- I also know that without the hard work of changing your mindset you will never be successful.
- Grit and willpower are not part of your toolkit. They’re appetizers for the main course.
How far can you get on willpower alone? And grit is useful but miserable. Putting one foot in front of the other every single day is a start, but having a proper mindset is the key.
I know these things sound harsh, but it’s reality. When all the negative self-talk starts in your head, you’ll retreat. Having the tools you need to cross the line from where you are to where you need to be is crucial. You will never live your life your way without the right mindset.
What you need to know
What makes you tick?
Do you want to be self-employed or have you found yourself in a situation that has pushed you into it? Perhaps you look around you and aren’t happy with the life you’ve made. The reason doesn’t matter. The point is, you need to be honest with yourself when you answer this question. Owning a business can be liberating, or it can incarcerate you. Your experience depends on your motivations.
What are your hang-ups?
Are you shy, timid, indecisive, humble? Understand your fears and the things that will pose a challenge to your personality. To live your life on purpose, you have to be willing to stretch outside your comfort zone. Without self-promotion, and the ability to ask for what you want success will always be out of reach.
What are your superpowers?
What are your talents, what are you good at doing? Show the world your best assets and now is not the time for humility. You need to drop that monkey off your back right now and leave it at the door.
Bring your skills to the table without humility. Your skills are the opportunity to pitch the person who can have the most impact on your business, you.
What do you value as an individual?
These values will reflect the personality of your business as it grows. You need to know your values intimately and live them every day. Likewise, share them with everyone that comes in contact with your company. Your employees, contractors, vendors and your clients all need clarity on what you stand for with your work. The values of your business, like your personal values, will grow and evolve as your business grows.
Live your life by reinventing yourself
Becoming the person you want to be, that will evolve with experience. To live your life your way, you may have to reinvent yourself twenty times over, and that’s okay.
You may want to be wealthy and successful now, and I have a strong feeling you will be. Still, the words “rich and successful” might have a different meaning to you five years in the future.
The words “rich and successful” mean different things to different people. To find the right context of those words for you, you’ll have to take the journey through your mind. Question yourself and be honest with your answers.
Live your life by accepting that it will be difficult
If you don’t want to have a boss, want to run away from stress, stop enduring horrible people, long hours blah, blah, blah. Understand that you will still be working long hours.
On the bright side, you’ll no longer have a boss. Not having a boss doesn’t change the need to make money for necessities. That need alone will keep you in check and stressed out. Another bit of bad news, horrible people will not magically disappear either.
Live your life by running toward your dreams, not away from your job.
If you have a passion for the business, you’ll wake up excited to work those long hours. Challenging people will be a minor deterrent to the amazing life you will have.
No one will offer you what you need to because you are the most deserving of it. You get what you need because you happened to be the one who asked the loudest and persisted the longest. To live your life on your terms and without fear you have to want it more than anyone else AND be willing to take it.
Live your life by not second guessing your powers
Once you know your abilities, own them and figure out how to use them to your benefit. Don’t ever dimish what you are or the importance of what you can do. It’s not about what you know it’s how creative you can get with those skills of yours. Creativity is like a muscle. You have to work it. The work can be exhausting just like any other exercise, but it gets easier.
Live your life by being true to your values
It always comes down to this for me. Seriously, this is the foundation of it all. Live your life by your values, make sure they’re yours and hold them close. You will be happier, your life will have more meaning, and you won’t settle for anything less than what is right for you. Above all, know that it’s okay to be who you are, and it’s okay to change your mind.
Live your life by exploring your curiosities
Don’t know what your passion is yet but you know it doesn’t include a time clock and a grumpy boss? Get a side hustle or moonlight; it’s all the same.
Start a side hustle and another and another until you find your calling. I love to use Elizabeth Gilbert’s analogy, be a hummingbird. I know this sounds like a waste of time. Trust me wasting years of your life on one thing that you hate only to move on to the next is a hundred times worse. Experimenting is not a waste of time.
I know you might think moving from one thing to another sounds like a waste of time, but it’s worth it. Trust me, spending years of your life on one thing that you hate only to move on to the next is a hundred times worse. Experimenting is not a waste of time.
Why this is a good idea
You don’t want to leave your job to start a business you don’t understand. In doing this, you may find yourself years later with tons of debt and a business that you hate more than you hated having a boss. Trust me. I’ve been there it happens.
Live your life by being strategic in leaps of faith
Once you quit your job and start a business, you’re pretty much in it till it flies or falls. The most valuable thing you can give yourself right now is time and flexibility. Time for action, not reflection.
Live your life by taking action
Yes, this is important, it’s right up there with a healthy mindset.
You won’t know what you love until you start doing it. You’ll also learn pretty fast what you don’t want to do so you can check that off your list. At least you’ll still have your day job. Bullet dodged, no harm no foul. Let’s move on.
Why this will benefit you and your business
It’s an experience, and every experience good or bad is valuable. You learned, and you grew from it without even trying.
Live your life by focusing on one thing at a time
In the beginning, you’ll feel overwhelmed with all the things that need to get done, even before your business goes live. I don’t know about you, but when I’m overwhelmed, I lose focus and motivation. In fact, this is how the brain functions according to Joanne Cantor Ph.D.
When you’re doing everything, it feels like nothing is getting done. Eventually, you’ll experience burnout, and that’s not a good thing. Pick one thing to finish and move on to the next. Allow yourself the feeling of accomplishment. Focusing on one thing at a time will motivate you to keep going.
Read The One Thing book by Gary Keller. This book changed so much for me, I read it twice!
Get comfortable with patience and persistence
Like everybody else, you’ll experience setbacks. Setbacks are a part of the game. You will have days, weeks, even months when you feel like you’re walking in circles. If you love what you’re doing, if you’re passionate about it even walking in circles is amazing. I warned you. Bad metaphors are my thing.
Keep going, move forward
If you can’t seem to escape the loop, look for a different route. Stop walking and run, ride a scooter take the bus. Do whatever it takes but keep moving forward. Remember to stay true to your values and do what feels right for you and your business. Follow these principles, and you will live your life, your way.
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Also, don’t forget to download the supplemental material for this post.